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Come Sail Away …..

September 4, 2010

It’s early for me …. 7:00 a.m. I’m going to be traveling and completing my “What’s So” for Peace Day. I had an amazing meeting last night and I’m highly impressed with the producer James who has been doing an amazing job in 7 days. Wait till Lynne see’s my report!

Then that is it! Our new and good friend Jeff has invited us on his friend’s sail boat yacht for a few days. After tonight, no more internet or phone for 2.5 days.

I was thinking about how sometimes in life you wake up and say, “What in the hell happened?” and usually it isn’t good. Like you were in a trance and can’t figure out why you made the decisions you made, or got yourself in the mess you did. That’s usually me!

This time, I wake up and say … What in the hell happened? Because I’m shocked …. in a good way! It’s like the universe made a clearing, and I followed the right path this time. All obstacles were taken out of my way …. and no one is more surprised than me 🙂

This morning, while I was still half asleep I hear Tenzing say, “You wanted to work on peace in our lifetime and it is yours. You told me you needed more money, and I brought it to you. Now what do you want baby?”

I said, “Well, I really love this cat, but in order to keep her, we have to buy this house.” He said, “So buying you this house is next on the list?” I said, “OK”.

I have this recollection of a time someone went to buy me a house, something I have never asked for. I was taken to the home, introduced to the owner, discussed re-modeling, took pictures, went to work and told every one …. only to get a call on the phone … nah, we changed our mind!

Then I remember in exchange we were remodeling my apartment (remember I never asked for any of this) so I was taken to pick out tile, pick out a refrigerator, pick out the paint. Do you know the tile was changed, the paint was changed and the refrigerator was sent back for one I absolutely hated! To this day I still believe that the decision to return that refrigerator was the final straw in that relationship. It was a symbol of such a blatant lack of caring about what was important to me. Especially since I did all the shopping and cooking.

I learned something very valuable from those years. It doesn’t matter if it is family or work. You shouldn’t have to work so hard to “prove yourself” every single day to other people to make them happy.

In the end, when I got sick I was abandoned. Oh sure, they gave me minimal so I would go away quietly and I did. All those years of sacrifice meant absolutely nothing to them.

I don’t know what gave me the strength to still have faith in myself, to believe in my own dreams, and to know that the battles I was losing were in truth my greatest victories.

So in the midst of your challenges, think of this story … you may have lost all your friends as I lost most of mine. You may have lost your job as I lost mine. You may have lost your marriage and the family that surrounded that union as I lost mine. You may have to make a decision that your life is more valuable than stay for the sake of the children (in my case two dogs I loved and miss very much). You may have to hand your life partner over to another person who values not your vows of marriage or request to back off so you can work things out. You may have to find out that the friends who stood by your side at your wedding are the alibi. You may have relinquished your control of the situation, been threatened only to find yourself sneaking out of town in the middle of the night as I did.

But there is freedom on those highways, and there is hope beyond those mountain passes …. and integrity is the key. I honored what was left, even if it was only my word. I forgave myself for all I could have done wrong.

The most amazing result is I’m building the life I always wanted and it is as easy as letting every one else have all those things they fought so hard to keep.

I know now in my home, there is no fighting, there is no war, the body can heal, the mind is resilient… and the world is a peaceful place after all.

Best of luck to you in your journey …. I know you’ll find your way.

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