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The Economies of Love

February 1, 2010

I only wanted help….nothing more. I agreed to sign away all that was needed in exchange for peace of mind, which doesn’t come easy.

Then I received a call, from someone I never even dated but was friends with. He knew me as I was … accepting him as he was … and now on the verge of some big venture … who does he trust … so I guess it’s me. I must say I had mixed emotions. We never moved forward since I wanted children and he didn’t. Yet he had two since I’ve been gone. He told me tonight, “People are more important than money.” I already knew that. I never realized how many people I had helped only to be ignored by them when I asked for 1% in return.

He offered to come to me, me come to him or meet where I wanted to. I said, “I can’t afford to do that.”  He said among other things, “I’ll take care of it…..sweet Heather.”

I was floored. Two daughters and so much potential to share knowledge with them while they are young…I would love to be a part of the future to make the world a better place …. I don’t know. I had already resigned to the fact that my time to have children is over. I’m getting too old for risky behavior to satisfy my own self interests. I couldn’t jeopardize the health of another human being and honestly would be scared.  It’s something to think about.

Besides….if I had a kid…he would be just like this:

Last year my girlfriend told me to go to a sperm bank….OMG….it’s all about having a two parent family. Like this one:

OK totally cheesy but since I’ve been discussing my dreams so often I’ll add it

This part…I totally get….it’s called “being groomed” and you don’t even know it.

and in fantasy land….this is how I picture it…..

but then again I ask…what’s with all the coffins? Find it on my site….it’s haunted me since I’ve seen the footage.

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